It's a picture of a wedding, beautiful cars, roses in every corner of the garden, beautiful smiles and an aisle. There is a procession, and the bride is escorted slowly by her father and mother, the maid slowly following the trail of her wedding gown. Slow and intimate wedding music is playing in the background. The bride is looking straight ahead where a young man is waiting for her. The groom has always been waiting for this day, and he cannot hold back his joy. Then, towards the end of the ceremony, the preacher authoritatively declares them husband and wife and gives the husband permission to kiss his bride in the presence of all. The single ladies and gentlemen in the room are thinking about their day when the same shall be said. That's a dream picture for most people.
However, singlehood is a very powerful season to maximize one's potential. The question is, how can this season of singlehood be used for our benefit? Below, we will look at three very important tips to maximize and enjoy our singlehood.
1. The Journey Of Self Discovery
Every young single person goes through life guessing who they are. Many will go on guessing until they reach a season where there will be no time for trial and error. They end up failing to discover who they are. Singlehood gives you maximum time with yourself. If you focus on finding yourself now, you have the luxury of time, something you may not have when you get married. Rather than spending time studying movie characters and football players, take time to analyze yourself. Are you kind, lazy, proud, hardworking, etc.? You have the time for trial and error. There is more time to correct the mistakes you make.
Singlehood allows you the time to discover the talents and gifts that you are born with. The earlier you find out these talents, the earlier you master them. The season allows you to discover your calling and purpose for life. That answers the question; why am I here at this specific time? Understanding your purpose and calling helps to keep your focus on particular things and not on everything. Self-discovery enables you to focus on knowing the type of personality you are. This is important because it helps you understand why you react in specific ways under certain circumstances.
Away from that, it also helps you appreciate yourself without feeling awkward or ashamed of yourself. Suppose you discover you are naturally quiet and reserved. In that case, you will not feel uncomfortable when everyone is loud and all over. It is also vital to discover the little behavior patterns you have picked up on the way before they solidify. You should find out ungodly and antisocial behavior before they become hard to deal with. I pray that you find pleasure in taking the time to discover who you are.
2. Grow Yourself
It does not stop at discovering yourself. The purpose of self-discovery goes beyond the discovery itself. Discovery sets the stage and gives us the direction- we know where to invest and where not to. We are no longer shadowboxing, and we have a starting point. With self-discovery, we can develop effective strategies to deal with the hostile areas we are lagging. Growth is the next crucial stage.
There are three areas of growth—first, intellect- that is, the mind. Much of our lives is a result of beliefs that we picked up growing up. These show in the things we do, how we feel and what we say about ourselves. Developing the mind is a rewarding strategy. Some things will automatically be dealt with when our minds are transformed (Rom 12:2). The mind is the most pivotal point for all other forms of growth. The best way to grow the mind is to read relevant materials, listen to lectures on specific areas of interest, and attend seminars. Do you want to learn how to save? Well, this is the time.
We must also grow in our skills. Now that you have discovered you are a good writer, painter, or athlete, grow in those areas. Become excellent. This will take time, but it is an investment that will result in a larger reward later in life. The last sphere to focus on is your relationships. Learn negotiation skills, and improve your ability to communicate the very ideas that are in your mind. Take part in competitions, and earn the ability to win people to your side.
3. Establish Long Term Relationships
We waste a lot of time with the wrong people in the name of having fun. The best thing to do would be to focus and build on objective relationships. You can pursue collaborations with people who have specific values and skills that you desire. Look around. Are your friends mature? Are they thinking about building financial capacity? Do they love the Lord? These are people that you can take time to make a life with. It might take time, but it is this season where lifelong friendships are established.
Good friendships require effort. Take time to pray, maintain and participate. Be very intentional with the objectives of the fellowship—set goals and targets for different areas. People will always want to walk with people who are intentional about them. Finding a mentor is a part of connecting with people. We submit to a mentor for training because they have gone ahead of us in that area.
The bible says that “There is a time and a season for everything under the sun.” Let us take the time to appreciate our current place before we get to the next stage. Do not waste your singlehood anticipating your married life. This is not the time for that. Every season comes with its own purpose. As we expect what will come after, let us learn to enjoy our singleness while we still have it. The life of a man goes quickly like smoke in his eyes. Your singlehood is a time to be marked with beauty and excellence.